Making Decisions when at a Fork in the Road
Photo by Oliver Roos via Unsplash.com
When we come upon a “fork in the road”, life around us can feel chaotic, uncertain and difficult to balance.
Often we’re filled with anxiety and doubt. We struggle to sift through our frenzy of thoughts and the many things we need to constantly juggle, making it even harder to make a decision about which path to take.
When we feel drawn to, called to or pulled towards a new path, we often struggle with the fear of what we may miss out on, if we take one path versus another (colloquially known as “FOMO”, in our current era).
We’re afraid that this opportunity will never come around again and we’ll end up regretting our choice later. We can feel paralyzed by this fear and unable to make a decision.
Having gone through several life transitions, over the years, I’ve learned a few lessons that I liked to share with you…
In our human life, we can’t experience everything that we dream of, all at once.
This may sound disappointing and frustrating (I know, because I’ve felt it when I’ve been at a precipice of change). Believe it or not, this is actually protective!
As humans, we have a finite amount of time, physical energy and mental focus (especially since we still need to do all the other necessary things to survive).
Simply put, our human capacity has its boundaries.
If we don’t respect the boundaries of our capacity, we end up spreading ourselves too thin, feeling burnt-out, exhausted, unwell and unable to enjoy the different things in our lives.
Imagine your capacity as a pie…
Photo by Dilyara Garifullina via Unsplash.com
You need to decide how many cuts to make and how big each piece of the pie will be.
Each piece of pie represents a different thing that you’d like to (and need to) experience in your life, right now.
You must ensure that you include pieces for the essentials to survive, such as: sleep, eating, relaxation, play, movement, and connections.
Be aware of how much you cut down on these essential pieces, knowing that this will impact how well you feel, how much of yourself you can realistically give to the other pieces, and how much enjoyment you’ll get out of the other pieces.
Use this “Pie Chart” metaphor to figure out how much of your finite capacity you’d like to prioritize for the different things that you’d like to experience in your life, right now.
Respect the boundaries of your capacity – you only have so much pie to go around!
You can always change the ratios of the pie slices later, if you’d like to have a different experience, in the future. This way, you can have your pie and enjoy it too 😉
Remember, life is not a straight path!
Life curves and moves like branches on a tree (which means you’ll face more “forks in the road”, in the future).
Photo by Jeremy Bishop via Unsplash.com
You’re presented with different branches of opportunity throughout your life...
No branch is inherently better than another.
No branch is perfect.
Every branch will grow with its own set of struggles / challenges and benefits / delights.
No branch will meet all of your needs, especially right away.
Every branch will involve some unknowns and require a leap of faith, which takes courage.
You can be courageous, while also feeling anxious! Anxiety has a protective purpose…
A bit of it keeps us alert, cautious and thoughtful.
(A lot of it can make us feel paralyzed, shaky and indecisive.)
No matter what branch you choose, remember that it takes a leap of faith and a practice of trust and hope that other branches of opportunity will present themselves, in the future.
If you want to receive personalized support as you move through changes and transitions in your life, book a free 15-minute phone consult with me to get started.
I specialize in working with women (ages 18-55), including gender-diverse, queer and trans folks (2SLGBTQIA+), people of colour (BIPOC), first & second generation immigrants, neurodivergent folks (especially people living with ADHD), students, professionals and entrepreneurs.