Your Intersecting Identities
As humans, we try to find meaning and structure in a chaotic, uncertain and ever-changing world. We love to put things (and people) into neat categories because it makes us feel in control of our lives, relationships, institutions and surroundings.
But, what happens when you don’t fit neatly into any category? Or you fit into several categories at once?
What happens when who you are complicates others’ widely held assumptions, expectations and beliefs?
What do you do when you’re faced with people who ignore, avoid or exclude you, simply on the basis of your identity?
What do you do when you’re faced with prejudice, discrimination or oppression, whether by a group of individuals or by a system or institution?
These experiences can leave us feeling shocked, outraged, confused, unwanted, misunderstood, alone, small and just not-good-enough!
Over time, we may internalize what others say about us or how they treat us, which can affect our confidence, self-worth, health and wellbeing, our connections to others (or lack thereof), and the opportunities that are available to us or that we allow ourselves to pursue in our lives.
Exploring & Accepting Yourself
(Photo by erik cid on Unsplash)
When we’re made to feel like we don’t fit in, we begin to think, feel and believe that we’re not smart enough, attractive enough, fit enough, queer enough, successful enough, or not (fill-in-the-blank) enough!
We all yearn to be seen, understood, accepted and loved by others… We also need to see, understand, accept and love ourselves, so that we can more easily receive, accept and enjoy it from others! (The clichés are true! It’s disappointing and infuriating, I know! *Cue eye-roll*)
Give yourself permission to create a space dedicated just to you, where you feel safe enough to:
Acknowledge, explore and express the different parts of your identity,
Recognize past hurts and work towards healing,
Recognize your needs and boundaries and learn new ways to build a sense of safety within your own mind and body,
Practice gentleness with yourself, and
Practice communicating and advocating for your own needs by effectively navigating through different social connections and even discriminatory systems and structures.
Building Communities of Belonging
(Photo by Omar Lopez on Unsplash)
We are social creatures and we thrive when we have social connections that make us feel safe, loved, accepted and cared for… We need to feel that we belong!
A part of your journey of healing and growth will involve finding, creating and nurturing connections with others, whether with people who share similar identities as you or a diverse group of like-minded and accepting people. For some, that may also include social justice work, advocacy and activism that they do in their own lives and work or through a particular community or organization. This work can be empowering and exhausting, all at once. And, our connections to others can give us a safe space where we feel rooted and can grow from, while also challenging us and bringing up hurtful memories or patterns from the past!
Having a space for yourself to explore the challenges that community connections stir up in you, will help you to fine-tune your communication and boundaries, and create a happy balance that feels sustainable for you.
My fee for Individual Counselling is $180 / hr.
*Sessions are up to 1 hour. Short-term & long-term counselling available in English or Farsi. Services are provided through a secure video portal or by phone.
**If you’re a part-time or full-time Post-Secondary Student or you’re currently Unemployed / Precariously Employed, ask about the availability of $100 discounted spots**
I specialize in working with women (ages 18-55), gender-diverse, queer and trans folks (2SLGBTQIA+), people of colour (BIPOC), first & second generation immigrants, neurodivergent folks, students, professionals and entrepreneurs.